Defeated

Sometimes I just feel defeated. I have children who don't listen, a house that is never clean, dinner that's always looming, weight that doesn't want to be lost and a constant feeling of blah. I'm not the only one out there, right? Or maybe you all have it all together. Actually sweep your floor and do your daughters hair - EVERYDAY.

Ever since we moved I have found myself floating, not in the good I'm on top of the world but in the I don't know where I belong. I try and sometimes I know not enough but we can all agree the feeling of awkwardness is never a fun one. That coupled with my feeling of inadequacy as a mother. I'm pretty sure my level of knowledge on carpet stain removal is proof on that. Here is an example of a day that made feel this way ...

Landon runs into my room to tell me that Ashlyn and Parker have gotten into my make-up. Not only have they got into my make up they have mainly played with my lipstick on my white carpet and of course themselves. I am now faced with the challenge of cleaning both the the carpet and the children and did I mention that it's Landon's birthday, Jarrett isn't home and people are coming at 4 30pm. So I get to work at the cleaning tasks, only things that gets the the lipstick out of the carpet is my carpet cleaner, scrubbing and dish soap - and time, a lot of time. By this time seeing that mom is annoyed my children mom to my room to watch TV, Ashlyn decides this is a good time to put blue soap all over my floor. Luckily I already have the carpet cleaner out and this stuff a little more easily removed. While this is getting cleaned up Parker goes downstairs and decides to turn my kitchen into a lake. Spraying the sprayer from my sink everywhere. Including the from scratch cake I made when I discovered that I did not have a cake mix. I had been calling my sisters all day for sanity talks but at this point I called in the big guns - my mom. she came made my kids happy just by being here, put up balloons, told me it was okay that I didn't have enough frosting for my cake (just used a little store bought I had in the fridge) and is probably the main reason why Landon had a party. he didn't get wrapped presents til the next day and his treasure hunt was planned during the party. I have never enjoyed a ride to costco as much as I did that one that day to pick up pizza alone.

Lest you think this is an isolated issue here is some other evidence

- Landon peed down my heating vent, he said it was an "experiment"
- One of them shoved car pieces in my piano so two keys didn't work, both close to middle c, lucking thanks to fondue fork I got them out.
- since starting potty training Ashlyn (which as the days go by, the more I don't want to - I don't have a good track record), Parker has had more pooping accidents than her
- after pooping in his pants yesterday Parker then peed on my only clean pants that fit while I was cleaning him up (plus I had to go visiting taching, so ill fitting pants for me)
- he ending up pooping his pants 3 times and ended up making pancakes for dinner
- the problem with potty training is probably me as she was doing much better with just Jarrett in charge

Now you can all think wow at least that is not my house